This past year I lost 2 of my precious family cats. Monty was a beautiful white long haired tabby with spots of brown/black.. she started having seizures that we couldnt explain and they became quite frequent. There was a huge rainstorm come thursday, and mother decided to take her to the vet friday.. come friday morning though, Monty would not come. We searched for days and put up a sign with a picture of her and me on it. It was a little over a week before we got a call from a man saying that he had had the cat.. She had wondered off and not found her way back home, we assumed she got confused from a seizure, and sat on their front porch(only a block away from our home).. The man had a wife and two children, so with fear of rabies, they took her to an animal clinic. On his way back from work the very next day he saw the sign and called the animal clinic, only to find that they ignorantly put her to sleep, knowing full well that she was a tame house cat. She is dearly missed, and always will be. Fluffy, my birthday present when i turned 7 passed away a couple of months ago of old age... not a very enticing story like the last, but we had him for 11 years.. he had arthritis, one good eye, and was pretty cranky at times.. I was the only person he let pick him up without a huge fight, I believe it was because I was the most gentle and knew his aching spots. But enough of my cats.. we now have just one kitten named Boo who keeps my parents company while im away at school...
The real tragedy
Alright.. so i went off to college for my first year (2011) fall semester. I make it past band camp which is about 2 weeks long of learning drill and harping ourselves into shape for the football seasons halftime shows and marching band parades. a few weeks into the school comes labor day if i remember correctly and our campus got to have a 3 day weekend..whoot.. I come home to my lovely parents who sit me down to tell me some not so good looking news i figured by the emotions on their faces. At this point I'm thinking my 90 year old grand parents have passed away or someone old is seriously ill. Wrong.. They tell me that my father may(MAYY!!) have pancreatic cancer. ouch right? It didn't hit me as hard at the time because i was just more relieved that no one had passed away. Time went on, and I went back to school, busy with band and my mind on good grades in my 13 classes -.- ... anywho. I get a call from my mother confirming the cancer, and reality set in. I cried a bit.. of course.. but i still hoped for the best. A few weeks later we find out that its fourth stage (last stage). "why?..why him?..my family?" these are the questions i asked myself, and still ask myself at times. I absolutely hated when people would tell me "Things will get better".."Everything happens for a reason".... boo.. BUT! I started to just accept that they were only kind words.. words to help me cope, or think more positively. They do help when you take them as a person who cares about you. If they didn't care, then they wouldn't tell you anything. I'm using this story mostly to vent about my anger, but also as a word from the wise to not let yourself hit a dark place when news like this hits your ears. I've had tons of quality time with my parents now that I dont think I would have ever appreciated as much as I do today. I cherish every minute I'm listening to my dad fiddle with his guitar and sing little diddies around the house with me to the tunes of songs stuck in our heads. I love messing with my mom about how technologically challenged she is, and watching my dad play his video games... Without my parents I wouldn't be near the person I am today. I strive for my fathers creativity, and intelligence.. My mothers exquisite cooking, and freedom to laugh at any time. :)
My fathers condition today is the same, with good days and bad.. there are a few tumors are getting smaller, so hope is still shining.
March 3rd
So it's been a while since I last posted on this blog. I'm ridiculously sad...mad...upset...and any other word to describe my emotions..to have to inform you of my fathers passing. I'm sure that you (my reader)don't care to hear my stories about the month of February, but since this blog is more for myself and my reason for creating it is to keep an online diary....then..you can skip it if you wish.February 18th I got a short text from my mother informing me that my dad was rushed to the ER. I assumed the message was short because she didn't want me worrying about him and then trying to drive to the hospital..so I called her to see how bad it was. She said he had pneumonia in both lungs and a urinary tract infection, so being the frantic daughter I am, I flewto the Saint Vincents East Hospital.. by making flew bold I hope it helped to describe how fast I drove. It was an hour and fifteen minute trip that I got to in 45 minutes tops.. I was going 110 down I-20.. passing a cop. My heart dropped because not only was I going to get a ticket, I was thinking the worst for my father. I glanced in the rearview mirror expecting to see the flashing lights, but none were there. Either I had a guardian angel placing a cloak of invisibility over my car, or he was asleep. When I reached the hospital I met my mom and dad in a room where they waited to be placed in an overnight room. I'll spare everyone the details that I, my family, and my father had to endure the 9 nights we were there by summarizing the story from here. My dad entered the hospital Feb. 18th, his condition only worsened each horrible night until Feb. 28th at 10:35 a.m. I was by his side everynight to tell him what a wonderful dad he had been to me..letting him know every minute that he had so much love to give and twice as much in return. He was my hero and greatest role model.. the best dad in all the galaxy. I wish I could have everyone step in my shoes and experience the best 18 years of my life that I could have ever wished for with my father. (ill add some of his artwork onto this blog later, and give more of my rants about the beauty of his life on a later date..)
♥ I Love You Dadoo ♥
